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Will my child be prepared to go out or stay home alone? This is a question that resonates in the head of many parents, especially those who have children with ages between 7 and 9 years. As children grow, their needs and desires for autonomy also grow, to be able to do many things 'alone' and 'when they are grown up', and for their parents to give them a vote of confidence. How to manage this autonomy?
I remember that when I was 8 or 9 years old, I was already coming home from school alone. And my school was not a hundred or two hundred meters from my house. I had to walk for a long time. But they were other times. The reality today has changed a lot. The population has increased, the number of cars has increased, and the distances as well as the dangers have tripled. How lucky are some parents who live near their children's school.
It is not age that determines whether or not a child is ready to go out or stay home alone. According to experts, it all depends on your degree of ability, responsibility, and the type of education you received during your early years. There are situations in which many parents have no choice but to accelerate this autonomy. For work reasons, or because they do not have someone to leave their children with, some families find no other option than to teach them to move and take care of themselves ahead of time. I think these kids end up being smarter and more spontaneous than others. Too much protection generates withdrawn children and with difficulties in relating to others.
My daughter is 11 years old and a few months ago, she told me that she would not want to go shopping with me and asked me to stay home alone. I felt that the time had come and I said yes. She was alone for two hours, and when I arrived I felt that I had 'grown'. In his gaze there was a hint of gratitude for having trusted her. Another day, she and a little friend asked us to go to the movies alone. We leave them. They went to the cinema that is in the mall next to home, and they had to see their faces when they returned. I think that education is a ladder of experiences that are forming and teaching children to face the world with more resources and learning. I think that if a child shows interest in going out or staying home alone it is because he loves it and is asking to climb a step in his life. You can make the experience of facing new situations something very special.
What is the father or mother who wishes his children to make mistakes or have negative experiences? Putting children in a bubble is counterproductive to their development. Children will not learn to defend themselves if they do not do it alone from time to time and they are wrong. Children are not only worth telling them about the dangers, they will have to feel them for themselves. They have to make mistakes and defend themselves since we cannot and must not give them everything resolved. And if something goes wrong, a parent cannot feel guilty for not having avoided this or that danger.
Children must learn to control what is happening around them. If we do not help them in this, in the face of any situation and at a certain moment they may present high anxiety derived from problems such as fear, shyness, aggressiveness, lack of sleep, behavior problems at home and at school, and etc. . Children also learn from mistakes.
You can read more articles similar to When children can go out or stay alone, in the category of on-site autonomy.